You can mishandle this situation by displaying aggression or passivity through your body movement. Aggression is displayed through moving too close to the interjector. Passivity is displayed by increasing the distance between you and the interjector, or through appearing reticent to move closer to the interjector.

My recommendation for this situation is this: In general, move a step toward the interjector (though when there is significant distance between you and the interjector you might move more than a step) and then stop and ‘plant your feet’. Then address the person. This movement conveys poise and composure.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days, observe the body movement and distance that people maintain in their interactions, meetings and sales presentations. Reflect on what movement/distance creates the perception of confidence, energy and certainty.

Jack’s (not his real name – his manager didn’t want me to reveal it) service was all the more remarkable as I entered the shop with an impression of Apple as an arrogant company, with a very high bar of what excellent customer service should be like and feel like for a customer, and with a long history of mediocre/poor interactions with I.T. people.

Let me elaborate on why Jack was so good.

1.      He immediately connected with me through fully facing me, holding eye contact and smiling. He projected an easy professionalism and a genuine interest in me and my needs.

2.      He listened attentively to my needs from what I needed from a Macbook Pro (I needed to connect the computer to a camera for my video shoots).

3.      He guided me through the steps (at a pace that suited me) of how to use the device (this was my first time ever using a Mac).

4.      He didn’t have any hint of patronisation when I fumbled through the instructions.

5.      He patiently waited while I took notes and he re-explained things I didn’t understand. He was very knowledgeable. He could answer most questions I asked. If he wasn’t sure he said so and said he could find the answer.

6.      He tried to save me money on a firewire purchase (he had one in stock, but suggested I might get a better price at another shop – I did go to a nearby Dick Smith. They no longer stocked the item. However, the surliness, and general unhelpful attitude of the Dick Smith rep was palpable in contrast to Jack).

7.      He took the necessary time needed to finish the demonstration (ie. he didn’t rush me off, so he could get on to something else).

8.      He ended the interaction my facing me, holding eye contact and smiling.

I could go on about Jack – but I won’t at this time.

I gave Jack a rap to his shop manager on the day. The manager said Jack was one of the best people he had.

In summary, Jack was a class act.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days, in your sales presentations or interactions, reflect on and then apply one of the above behaviours that Jack displayed.

I mention this because of a recent email I received from U.S.A. consultant Alan Weiss, entitled, ‘Alan’s Monday Morning Memo’. In the below Memo, Weiss touches on the above ‘Less is more’ and ‘Omit needless words’ theme.

“This week’s focus point: Brevity isn’t merely the soul of wit (Hamlet). We seem obsessed with telling people everything we know rather than what they need to know (hence, all those boring undergraduate lectures). Keep two factors in mind in business: speed and brevity. The more quickly you help others, the more valuable you are. Of course, that entails the suppression of ego and a true focus on helping, and a strong self-esteem that doesn’t require that you continually prove how smart you are. Enough said.” (you can contact Weiss at info@summitconsulting.com http://www.contrarianconsulting.com)

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In an interaction or sales presentation in the next seven days, aim to share a key ‘less is more’ message, right at the start of the interaction/presentation.

Overall:

1.        The BEST presenters are Audience Focused in their planning and delivery.

2.        The WORST presenters are Presenter Focused in planning, and in delivery. It’s like they’re talking to themselves in the presence of others.

Let me elaborate:

The BEST:

1.      Are audience focussed: they ‘hook’ the audience to listen, and provide the key message early; they provide a structure, and base their presentation/message on how the people in the audience think, feel and on what they need.

2.      Are perceived as genuinely enthusiastic about their message, through their voice, face, body and feeling tone.

3.      Omit needless words; are incisive; provide fresh metaphors, stories, vignettes, images and video clips that drive home their key message.

4.      Make an audience connection emotionally and physically; audience members feel like the presenter was talking just to them.

5.      Master the Q&A.

The WORST:

1.      Provide no hook for audience to listen; no early clear, key message; lack structure because they have no audience focus.

2.      Project little/no energy in their voice, face and body.

3.      Provide too much information and detail.

4.      Abuse PowerPoint.

5.      Mishandle the Q&A.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post:  In the next seven days, choose one of ‘The Best’ points above – reflect on it -  and then apply it in a sales presentation or in an interaction.

‘Be a beacon of hope’ is not only the first job of a leader – it’s the every day job, through to the last job, of a leader. The metaphor for ‘Be a beacon of hope’ is a lighthouse. Picture yourself as an ever-present, always visible, lighthouse beaming out hope to your constituent ‘vessels’ on the open seas (ie. your team members, your clients, suppliers, the media and other stakeholders).

For example, imagine a lighthouse at night, sending constant pulses of light across the water to any ship in its reach. In a similar vein, that should be you – sending out pulses of hope to any person(s) in your reach.

Now I’m not suggesting that you minimise any challenge that you face or your organisation faces – be it mild, moderate or severe in nature. Rather, that whatever happens, that you leave any interaction, chance encounter, meeting, presentation, teleconference, phone conversation, media interview – projecting hope to the person/audience.

Particularly in pressure situations make sure you’re projecting genuine hope through your voice, face, body language and feeling tone and through your spoken messages. Even when you have to lay off a person, you can be a beacon of hope to them for their future.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days make an intentional ‘beacon of hope’ spoken message in one of your interactions, meetings or sales presentations.

-    Vision (x 2 people said this)

-    Tell it like it is

-    Set the culture & vision

-    Develop the next generation of leaders

-    Passion

-    Inspire team to contribute in collaboration

-    Deliver certainty

-    Integrity

-    Dynamic, charismatic

-    Set the direction/example (x 2 people said this)

-    Build cohesion and inclusion

-    Be a role model

-    Manage yourself first

-    ‘Slow the game down’; keep the team focused on the result

-    Inspire (x 2 people said this)

-    Crystalise, focus, deliver

-    Define the needs of staff & shareholders

-    ‘Architecture’

-    ‘Help them get there’

________

At the conference I shared with the delegates, the research of Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, authors of the book The Leadership Challenge. Kouzes and Posner researched the characteristics of admired leaders across a wide range of countries. Their research revealed that for the last 20 years, the top, four characteristics of admired leaders have been:

1.    Honest

2.    Forward-looking

3.    Inspiring

4.    Competent

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: Review the above survey list and for the next seven days choose a idea/technique and daily apply it in your interactions and sales presentations.

p.s. my response to the question, ‘What’s the first job of a leader?, is: Be a beacon of hope.

http://48laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2011/05/law-28-enter-action-with-boldness.html

Greene maintains, most people are timid. They want to avoid tension and be liked by all. They may contemplate a bold action but they rarely bring to life. They are afraid of the consequences of being bold. Greene writes that boldness, as compared to timidity, is outer directed. It never induces embarrassment or awkwardness – so we admire bold people and prefer to be around them – because their boldness brings us out of our own realm of timidity.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days, take what would be (for you) a bold action. It could be introducing yourself to a senior executive you don’t know at your organisation’s Christmas party, or phoning up a challenging potential customer, or making a tough thought-provoking comment in a sales presentation or in a boardroom meeting.

A couple of posts ago Alan Joyce’s dignity under pressure was commented on. You could say that Joyce was embodying ‘the dignity of a king’ when he fronted the hostile Senate hearing.

Greene in his book makes an important distinction about what is, ‘the dignity of a king’. He says (and I’m paraphrasing from memory here, as I’ve mislaid my copy of the book): “Do not confuse regal bearing with arrogance. Arrogance may seem like the king’s entitlement. But it conveys insecurity. Dignity on the other hand demonstrates that nothing can bother you. You are above being intimidated. This is a extremely powerful pose.”

I would add that you really can’t attack dignity. (eg. no one is going to say you’re too dignified). And if you maintain your dignity, your cool, in the face of repeated attack – the attacker will usually give up, because he/she is getting no reward for their attacks.

Here is a link to the page that elaborates on ‘Law 34’.

http://48laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2011/05/law-34-be-royal-in-your-own-fashion-act.html

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days, observe whether you and others respond with or without dignity in any pressure or challenging situation, and reflect on the perceptions conveyed through these responses.

p.s. Happy U.S.A. Thanksgiving Day. Thank you to my clients, business friends and associates for your support of my work.

Obama’s most enduring skill is how he takes time – through exploiting pauses when he speaks; through his body movement and gesture (smooth & coordinated); through tuning into the rhythm of a moment and choosing an apt action or non-action; through being ‘light’ about himself while taking his job seriously (in a group photo of leaders at the recent APEC meeting, Obama joked with Julia Gillard about her hair preening in preparation for the photo).

Obama delivered a workman-like (for him) performance in his address to the Australian Federal Parliament today. Before he started his address he demonstrated intelligent listening to Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s address, conveyed through his attentive eyes and face. His actual speech, like many of his set piece performance, is like a dance – where he starts with an easy light aside (eg. the joke about his prior mangling of Australian slang).

Following the opening he shifts his body much like a jazz musician who is getting into his rhythm and finding his groove. He starts extending final consonants in words a fraction longer and starts exploiting pauses for effect. He shifts up a gear in voice energy and acceleration for key parcels of speech, as demonstrated in his ‘We never forget’ repetitive phrasing during the speech.

He closed the speech with measure and certainty. I give him an 8/10 for the speech. By the way, Julia Gillard’s face and body language during Obama’s speech conveyed deep feeling and resonance for Obama – almost at the level of ‘hero worship’ status. Her numerous head nods during the speech were expressions of this deep feeling.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In your sales presentation meetings and interactions over the next seven days, in the manner of Obama, on purpose, intermittently ‘exploit a pause’ in your delivery for a ¼ or ½ a second, and note its impact on the certainty that you feel, and its impact on your listener.

p.s. Here’s a link from where you can download an Australian Financial Review article with my 2008 deconstruction of Obama’s speech communication, listening and body language:

http://www.kellyspeech.com.au/2008/10/measured-manner-a-winning-way-afr/

Joyce never lost his cool through his voice, face, body or words (ie. he maintained his dignity). Due to this performance, the senators could not penetrate Joyce’s defences (ie. rattle him) despite significant effort.

As Joyce left the Hearing his face conveyed that he was indeed physically and emotionally spent from the energy he had to exert to maintain his dignity, but that energy served him well.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: Whenever you’re in a pressure situation (in the manner of Joyce) maintain your dignity through your voice, face, body and words. A good mantra to keep in mind is this: ‘He/she who loses their cool – loses.’

On the piece of paper, the following excerpt was written about John Wayne’s body language. “Actor Paul Fix claimed to have invented Wayne’s graceful walk and movement (ie. his physical attitude) for him. In the movie Tall in the Saddle Fix emphasised Wayne’s walk in a scene – where Wayne comes down the town’s main street toward a drunken gunman, not bothering to draw his own gun, intimidating the other man just by the easy purposefulness of his stride.”

So what has this got to do with your walk and body movement. Simply this: How you walk, move, carry and conduct yourself – your physical attitude – conveys volumes about you.

The how to apply for this post:  In the next seven days, observe how people walk, move, carry and conduct themselves and reflect on what those observations are conveying to you about the respective people. Consider what specific aspects contribute to the perception of confidence, or lack of confidence. Consider what aspects you might add to your physical movement that would convey confidence.

“You learn more watching great leaders on video for 10 minutes than you learn reading the 200,000 Amazon books on leadership. So much of leadership is in their eyes, in their body language, and in the obvious commitment to the cause. You can see why people want to follow them.”

The how to apply for this post: Watch YouTube clips of great leaders delivering their spoken messages and consider how you could adapt what they do with their voice, eyes, face and body, to your speech communication delivery and your sales presentations. You can view a clip of an inspirational speaker on one of my prior posts. Just paste in ‘Frank Donaghue’ in my site’s search bar and you’ll find the clip.

If you don’t know your field of endeavour deeply – your conviction will not be deep.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: Ask yourself and act on the following question. ‘What questions can’t I answer about your field of endeavour?’ For me, I need to ask myself questions like: ‘How can I help senior executives more quickly learn how to shift between their various interaction types and still be perceived as a beacon of hope.’

Once you pose the questions, seek out the answers to them. When you answer those questions, you’ll have a deeper knowledge and conviction about your field of endeavour.

(A caveat: In some environments, such at highly technical ones, proof might be equal to or greater than conviction. Optimally, you want to be deep in both conviction and proof).

The only reference I found for the quote was ‘Esquire magazine article, by John Poppy’ and my notes about the article.

Let me explain the quote. In a study where inmates were shown video clips of various people walking, they rated people who walked not too slowly or too quickly, as not being good prospects to mug. (That is, these people were not seen as easy prey). Other attributes that marked these people as not good to mug were their relaxed body movement and gait, and that they appeared to be on route to a destination (ie. versus walking without a purpose).

In addition to keeping this ‘not too slow or to quick’ walking method in mind, here are additional ideas on how to walk, so that you signal confidence and certainty to others (and if the situation arises, to not be seen as easy prey for potential muggers).

1. Focus your body a few centimeters below your naval, midway below your back and stomach.
2. Keep your weight down low. Be aware of your pelvic girdle rocking back and forth.
3. Let your legs drop free from your hips. Let them flow.
4. Allow your body to move. Let your hands and arms swing freely.
5. Make firm contact with the soles of your feet on the ground.
6. Walk with this analogy in mind: Like a monorail train car, smoothly running along its track.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: In the next seven days, observe how other people walk and carry themselves, and rate them in relation to the above points. Begin adding some of the above suggestions into your ‘walk’.

I read about this particular Wooden technique in the book, The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle. (a good book I’d recommend).

Coyle explains Wooden’s methods as follows. “Wooden formulated laws of learning: explanation, demonstration, imitation, correction and repetition.” In my speech communication and sales presentation work, I’ve found that participant improvement does indeed follow Wooden’s laws.

Coyle also quotes Wooden from Wooden’s book, The Wisdom of Wooden: “Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens – and when it happens, it lasts.”

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: Find an expert to Explain and Demonstrate a skill, move, or technique you want to develop. Video-record the explanation and demonstration. Then by yourself, view the recording as you cycle through the following steps:

1.                  Imitate

2.                  Correct

3.                  Repeat

Keep cycling through the steps until you can imitate/closely approximate the expert’s demonstration of the skill/technique.