Last week, I shared Nalini Ambady’s study of how it took university students only two seconds of viewing a silent video clip of a teacher, to make judgements of the teacher that highly correlated with longer term impressions of the teacher.

Here’s an imagery technique I use with my sales presentation clients to reap the worth of those valuable two seconds of time, when you initially meet someone – so that it will positively enhance a person’s longer term impression of you.

It’s called the long, lost friend technique. Imagine that stretching out in front of you is a long corridor and in the distance you see a person you vaguely recognise.

As they come closer to you, you recognise that it is a long, lost friend – a great friend – that you haven’t seen in years. That moment of recognition will have an immediate, dramatic effect on your facial expressions. There will be a ‘lighting up’ of your entire face. There’ll be a warm, welcoming smile and your eyes will shine.

Imagine meeting and greeting your customers, clients and friends with that long lost friend facial expression . . .

Now, obviously everyone you meet is not your long, lost friend. But if you pretend that they are (and it is a type of ‘selling job’ on yourself to do this) due to your inviting, facial expressions, people will automatically be drawn to you, and want to connect with you. You’ll capture the worth of that pristine, two seconds, and you’ll plant in the person’s mind, a positive longer term impression of you.

The ‘how to’ for this blog is to trial the long, lost friend technique with customers, clients and friends you meet – and if it pays off for you, start practising it, intentionally, on a daily basis. 

Leaving aside who won the battle of the ideas and focusing on the battle of the words, voice, body language, presence and feeling tone, consistent with those of a prime minister and leader – Julia Gillard won tonight’s debate.

Gillard confirmed her own deep, genuine belief in herself as a leader, and in a positive hope for the future of the country. Debates are about emotional identification with voters. They turn on the revealing of a candidate’s personality, character and temperament. With this template to judge Gillard on – many voters will find her personality, character and temperament appealing. Read more…

Nalini Ambady of Harvard University asked university students at the start of a semester to view a two second, silent video clip of teaching fellows, and rate the teachers on a 15 item checklist of personality traits. At the end of the semester with the teachers, the students again rated the teachers. There was a high correlation between the pre and post semester checklists. Read more…

 In a clip where Margaret Thatcher was defending the sinking of an Argentinian ship, during the Falklands war. – here’s the link: http://margaretthatcher.magnify.net/video/Margaret-Thatcher-SE-ENOJA – you can see and hear Thatcher’s inner steel and ramrod confidence as she counters a persistent questioner. Julia Gillard in her first weeks as Prime Minister has shown similar shades of steel and confidence through her voice, face and body language. Read more…

Julia Gillard’s raised eyebrows and pointed finger are saying to those around her…

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Think about why you might negatively judge someone? . . . You might not like the way they look, or what they say, or the sound of their voice.  However, if you withhold judgement and get curious you can learn very valuable things from people you don’t like, from mediocre competitors, even from people you despise.

Oscar Levant said the following about people he despised: “Every time I see you – I have a fierce desire to be lonesome”. Read more…

At his final Press Conference as Prime Minister last Thursday, Kevin Rudd initially joked about the large size of the gallery, to hide the enormity of his anguish. He tried to hide himself with his innumerable ‘I’m proud of the fact’ statements. This was his final chance to catalogue, technocrat style, his achievements – to, in effect, say, ‘look at all I’ve done for you. . .why don’t you appreciate this . . .why am I being dumped’, but his voice, eyes and face weren’t playing along. Read more…